How To Tell Your Spouse You Want A Divorce

You could be married for a year, or may three years, or even more than 6 years. But maybe you’ve been unhappy with your marriage for a very long time. Has divorce crossed your mind several times? If so and now you think that it is the best for both you and your spouse, then you need to go ahead and tell them. There are several things to consider before you break the news to them:

• How surprised will they be when they hear the news? If it is obvious that the marriage has broken down then they might have thought about for a long time and was just unable to express that they too, wanted a divorce. But if your spouse has wished for a long time that things would get better but has not known how to make that happen, then your spouse may be a little surprised with your decision.
• If you are unhappy, take the time to think about whether your spouse knows so. In a few cases, he/she may be oblivious to the fact that you’re having troubles in the marriage and may think that everything is fine. So by analyzing what you know you can make an educated guess of how surprised your spouse will be. Remember that the more your spouse is surprised or shocked by your revelation, the longer it will take for them to accept the divorce.
• Ensure that the timing is right: It’s best to tell you spouse that you are considering a divorce as soon as you realize that you want to end your marriage—you should be very clear in your thoughts and not struggle with being decisive yourself.
• Be kind and direct: If you are the one who is going to spill the news to your spouse, then you need to be compassionate and think about their feelings. Maybe they don’t want a divorce so this news might hit them hard. Leave them with space to think and gather their thoughts. If they are not on the same page as you, they will attempt to talk you out of it, so be ready to give them that chance. That is when you will both talk to each other about why you think the marriage has broken down. While both of you are talking about the divorce, respect each other, as that will make the whole process easier.
• Do not tell your spouse’s family before you have had a direct conversation with your spouse first. As complicated as it is between two people, leaving out the family first can make it a little simpler and not too overwhelming.
• Be aware of your spouse’s reactions: Expect a wide range of emotions from your spouse. No matter how prepared you are to tell them you want a divorce, you may be caught off guard with what (for example) your husband says or how he reacts. If you think he’ll respond with anger or even abuse, make sure you have someone with you.

ALSO READ: Tips For Painless Divorce